1. Grow up in the United States and speak fluent English, but type in broken english any chance you can. Such step very important.
2. Install a stolen copy of photoshop, search the top rated fonts section on dafont.com, come up with a cool name, place it inside a stroked rectangle, and put “est. 2001” even though you thought of it in the year 2014.
3. Get someone else to design your stickers for free, get them printed for $2 per sticker, and sell them for $15 each.
4. Repost all the cool cars from the Zilvia picture threads.
5. Go on facebook, and friend as many Japanese people with cool cars as you can. Immediately repost the pictures they post.
6. Facebook feed dry? Go to driftwolrd.com and repost everything. Take a step back, because you don’t want anyone to notice. Go to google images to find more cool pictures.
7. When you caption your photos, make sure to add X’s and ~ after every post. It immediately makes anything you say way cooler looking.
8. When you see someone else post the same pictures as you, lay low if you don’t have many followers yet. If you have a lot of followers, immediately call them out and let them know how shit they are. Libel is your friend.
9. When bored, continuously refresh your tumblr in hopes that you gained a follower in the second long refresh interval.
10. Buy stickers from blogs that are cooler than yours, and in the comments section of PayPal ask them to share your blog on their page.
11. Always ask to trade stickers before you buy them from someone. But NEVER forget to only send 1, because you ain’t about to waste an extra $15.
12. Whenever you reach a substantial even numbered amount of followers, let everyone else know so they can bask in your glory.
13. If you get bored of X’s and ~ after your captions, google search special characters and go crazy. ŔỈŞĶÿ x ĐÈVỈL ~
14. Always delete people’s captions before reblogging. You don’t want that ugly shit cluttering up the galaxy background on your blog.
15. If you come across the coolest picture ever but it has that god awful watermark, just open up your stolen photoshop and crop it out for instant original content.
16. Change your theme often, because you need to stay cool. Only use free themes though, because sticker profits are for Ganadors for your future car.
17. Once you get used to your fame, create a separate page on Facebook for your blog. Be smart about it though. Always repost Facebook pictures to your Tumblr, and Tumblr pictures to your Facebook. If you mess that up, you might get into trouble.
18. When someone accuses you of stealing their pictures, act like you never got the message. If multiple people call you out by reblogging the photo, immediately delete and apologize.
19. If your stolen picture folder on your desktop is becoming empty, go to your favorite blog’s archive folder and steal pictures from the first month they started posting. They will never know…genius.
20. Tags exist for a reason. If you post a picture of the best driver ever (Naoki Nakamura…Nakamura-san if you want to sound like a badass), then you better tag that picture with every single Nissan ever made.
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